Tried but not defeated

Ella had her milk challenge yesterday in the allergist's office.  After the first three increasingly larger doses, she was doing well with some very mild tongue and lower lip itching. After the fourth 3ml dose, she reacted with some serious vomitting and that's when she got the epi-pen shot for the first time in her life.  Due to His great love and mercy, she recovered very well and we were able to go home within two hours after the reaction.  The milk won. This time. And we were told that without any treatment, given her IgE numbers at her age, it is very unlikely that she would ever outgrow her milk allergy. And that's very hard to hear.

There is still hope that she could perhaps undergo an oral immunotherapy treatment over a period of time and be able to tolerate milk at the end of that 5-6 month long treatment. There are challenges with how or where we'll be able to get the treatment but we're hopeful that He will help us find a way to do it. I so badly want this for her. Especially after seeing her go through what she went through yesterday, and more importantly after the recent terrible news of children still dying from allergic reactions. It struck me that she is not safe out there. She is not. Yes, there are 504 plans in place, written procedures, supposedly trained staff, but children are still not safe out there. 

Amid yesterday's agony, it gave me comfort to hear her say that she wanted to go home because she knew she would never get a reaction at home. She knows she is completely safe at home.

She went in there not wanting to do it, being scared to death of what might happen to her if she tasted milk. And rightfully so. She had an IV in case of an emergency anaphylactic reaction which luckily did not occur. She had a couple of nurses in and out of the room for the entire 5 hours we were there, she had a doctor there, she had us. She had Him watching over her. She was hopeful that she could perhaps eat in the cafeteria, and pick her lunch just as the rest of her friends do. She was hopeful that she wouldn't have to be afraid of what some foods may contain. And so were we, but I guess we're prepared for a negative outcome too. So we're picking ourselves up and moving forward. Business as usual. Only knowing we have to continue to fight even harder and find ways to win this battle.

We came home physically and emotionally exhausted to my parents who had been praying galore. We had a delicious meal prepared by mom, topped with dessert and all. Yes, we had cake. We did have a reason to celebrate. Celebrate life, life with allergies, even as hard as it is, and might continue to be.

Yes, she wanted candles on her cake too. As you can see from the picture, this was a mighty beautiful cake. Not only beautiful but also extremely tasty: mom used "chec" batter, Hrishi's new most favorite torte/cake, and sunflower seeds crushed "bark" as garnish. It had three layers finely lined with frosting. Of course strawberries and dairy-free whip cream on top. It was heavenly.

This kid's got it in her, she is a winner. I love love love her so very much....and although my heart breaks over this, she is such an inspiration of courage and hope that somehow we'll overcome.

(Her sweet daddy firmly believes that she has been guided and prompted by the Holy Ghost in so many instances involving allergens, and that brings me comfort to know that he knows and he believes that too.)