Modesty: A Timeless Principle for All

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Modesty: A Timeless Principle for All
The way we dress demonstrates our understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
One of the challenges members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints face today is obeying principles of modesty in an increasingly immodest world. Difficult though it may be, we can show our discipleship to the Savior Jesus Christ by obeying the Church’s standards of modesty. Modesty encompasses dress, language, thought, and personal conduct, but here I would like to focus on dress.

Originally, the main purpose of clothing was to cover our bodies and protect them from the elements. Those purposes continue, although clothing now serves more complex purposes too. Today it can be an expression of many things such as wealth, social status, individuality, or belonging. But clothing also reflects our attitudes and values. For Latter-day Saints, the way we dress demonstrates our understanding of and commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In a world that constantly tries to undermine our sense of who we are and what we can become, observing the principle of modesty can improve our confidence. By living and teaching this principle, we can help instill that same confidence in the next generation.

What Is Modesty?

The pamphlet For the Strength of Youth offers basic guidelines for modesty. This booklet is valuable for both youth and adults: “Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire. … Women should wear clothing that covers the shoulder and avoid clothing that is low-cut in the front or the back or revealing in any other manner. … Men should also maintain modesty in their appearance. All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, ‘Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?’”1

Seek the guidance of the Spirit as you choose modest apparel. Additionally, as you consider the principles associated with modesty, you might also benefit from asking yourself specific questions like these:


• Am I exposing too much of my body when I sit down, bend over, reach up, or climb stairs?

• Do I call attention to myself by wearing clothing that is revealing or provocative?

 Do I need to adjust, tuck, or rearrange my temple garments in order to wear a particular item?

Why Modesty?

When we better understand the doctrine behind the principles of modesty, we realize that modesty is the virtue that guides and moderates action.

The doctrine behind modesty begins with our knowledge that we are children of God, created in His image (see Moses 2:27). Our bodies are sacred gifts from Heavenly Father and have specific purposes that He has planned. As grateful recipients, we acknowledge this gift by treating our bodies as He has asked us to (see D&C 88:33). We learn to train, control, and bridle our bodies and their physical uses to become like Heavenly Father.

From the beginning, the Lord has asked His children to cover their bodies. After Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit, their eyes were opened and they became aware that they were naked. Adam and Eve tried to cover themselves with simple aprons made of fig leaves. But the aprons were not enough, so the Lord made them more modest coats of skins. (See Genesis 3:7, 21.)

God had a higher standard then, just as He does now. His standards are not those of the world. As He says in Isaiah 55:8–9:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

A Timeless Principle

Because modesty is one of the Lord’s “higher ways” and not a passing social trend, it has been taught throughout the ages. Consider these other scriptural examples about clothing and what they teach us about modesty.

Modesty shows humility. The Book of Mormon prophet Jacob denounced pride and love of riches. He admonished his people to prevent their prideful hearts from destroying their souls. One of the ways they had showed their excessive pride was in their manner of dress. Jacob told them, “Because some of you have obtained more abundantly than that of your brethren ye are lifted up in the pride of your hearts, and wear stiff necks and high heads because of the costliness of your apparel, and persecute your brethren because ye suppose that ye are better than they” (Jacob 2:13).

The idea of being humble in how we dress is further reflected in Doctrine and Covenants 42:40: “Thou shalt not be proud in thy heart; let all thy garments be plain.” Does this mean that we cannot dress stylishly? No, we should dress appropriately for the occasion, but we should not consume ourselves with brand names or with always having the latest fashion. It is better to use financial resources for more lasting and meaningful purposes.

The way we dress for worship shows our reverence for the Lord. The Lord asked Moses to prepare sacred clothing that would be worthy of use in His holy house (see Exodus 28:2). It is clear from this commandment that the Lord felt everyday clothing was inappropriate for such a purpose. Do we, like Moses, reflect our feelings of love for Heavenly Father by dressing appropriately for worship?

As these examples show, “prophets of God have always counseled His children to dress modestly.”2 In our own time we have been reminded that “the way you dress is a reflection of what you are on the inside. Your dress and grooming send messages about you to others and influence the way you and others act. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and can exercise a good influence on those around you.”3

Blessings Associated with Modesty

One of the foremost blessings associated with modesty is an increased sense of confidence. One sister shares the story of a friend who learned—and was blessed by—the principle of modesty in the course of learning about the gospel:

“Several summers ago, a colleague attended church with me. She arrived at my home beforehand dressed in what is traditional for our warm climate: a sleeveless sundress. I appreciated her sense of occasion in wearing a dress to church, and off we went. Other ward members welcomed her to our congregation, and she returned several times in the ensuing weeks. She even began attending home, family, and personal enrichment meetings and bringing her several children to Primary and youth activities. During those midweek activities on those hot summer days, she usually wore a sleeveless blouse and shorts that reached mid-thigh. She was not vulgarly dressed, but it was apparent that she did not yet understand Latter-day Saint standards.

“After several weeks, I asked her if she would be interested in learning more about the Church from the missionaries. She told me that she was shy and that she was uncomfortable talking to people she didn’t know. She wanted simply to continue to participate in our ward’s worship and activities and assured me that if she had any questions, she would ask me or some of the other people in the ward with whom she was already acquainted.

“It was interesting to me that as she continued to come to church and Church activities, she began wearing longer skirts, longer shorts, and shirts that had sleeves. Initially I thought it had to do with the oncoming autumn weather, but I soon realized that she was simply taking note of how her Latter-day Saint associates dressed.

“I don’t know that her change in apparel was solely responsible for the increase in confidence I started to notice in her, but I think it was part of it. As she continued to learn gospel principles, such as her divine heritage as a daughter of God, her sense of self-worth seemed to escalate. Her confidence increased as she began to better understand the reasons behind some of the things we do. And as her confidence increased, she was eager to learn more about the gospel—including taking the missionary discussions, something that had previously made her nervous.

“Her dress was just one aspect of her coming to know and understand gospel principles and standards, but as she found she was able to adjust that area of her life, she saw that she could make more significant changes too. Eventually, these changes led to her conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and her joining the Church. Later, she was endowed in the temple, and her wardrobe required no change because she had already been practicing the principles of modesty.”4

As modesty becomes the virtue that regulates and moderates action in our lives, we too will find an increased sense of self-worth. Recall the promises of Doctrine and Covenants 121:45–46:

“Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

“The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth.”

May we all endeavor to qualify for these blessings.

Don’t Be a Dummy A mannequin wears whatever the world is selling. Your standards are higher than that.

Are Your Standards Shrinking? If it’s too tight, too short, or too revealing, it doesn’t fit Church standards. Don’t stretch your standards to fit the world’s. (See For the Strength of Youth, 14–16.)

Don’t Shortchange Yourself The way you dress advertises your standards. Send the right message. (See For the Strength of Youth, 15.)

Standards You will never outgrow them. (See John 14:15.)

Dress for Success Dress appropriately. Don’t let a bad choice trip you up. (See For the Strength of Youth, 14–16.)

Aspire to Something Higher The Lord invites you to prepare yourself To enter his house. It holds great peace and wonderful blessings. (See D&C 88:119.)

Silvia H. Allred, “Teaching Modesty to Our Children,” Ensign, July 2009, 33

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declares that “parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”1 The Lord has commanded us to teach our children important truths, and teaching modesty and virtue is one of our most vital responsibilities. So how do we do this?

We need to teach through word and example. As President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, taught: “It has been said, ‘Teaching by example is one way to teach.’ I would say, ‘Teaching by example is the best way to teach.’”2 We can set a family standard by always dressing ourselves modestly, appropriately, and tastefully. If we are endowed, we should always wear our temple garments and treat them with respect and reverence. When we as parents and leaders are consistent with what we teach and what we do, we avoid the confusion we may otherwise cause.

We need to teach from For the Strength of Youth. The principles taught in this booklet leave room for personal revelation and freedom of choice.

Family home evening lessons and personal interviews provide formal opportunities to teach children about modesty. Informal teaching is just as important and can be very effective. It might happen unexpectedly during meals, on the way to school, during a walk, or on a shopping trip. Take advantage of these opportunities, and do not shy away from giving straight answers. If you do shy away, your children might go to other sources for information—some of which may not be in harmony with gospel standards.

Some of the important concepts we should highlight in our teaching include the following:

• You are a child of God.
• Your body is a temple. It is a gift from God.
• Modesty in dress, thought, attitude, and behavior invites the companionship of the Holy Ghost and reflects your personal commitment to the gospel.
• The way you dress and behave sends messages to others about your attitudes and how you feel about yourself.
• You can be attractive without being immodest.
• Part of Heavenly Father’s plan is the attraction that occurs between males and females. These biological inclinations must be controlled.

As parents, we need to speak frankly about these natural tendencies but also about the importance and value of self-discipline that Heavenly Father requires us to learn as we overcome the “natural man” (see Mosiah 3:19). In this case, that refers to dressing and acting in a modest manner.

Girls might not recognize that the physical display they create when they dress immodestly affects boys more than it does them. Help children, especially daughters, understand that attracting someone of the opposite sex solely by physical means does not create a lasting relationship.

Our instilling and developing a strong sense of self-worth in our children can provide their best defense against immodesty. In addition to helping them understand their divine heritage, we can encourage confidence based on talents, academics, sports, and positive personal qualities.

1. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102
2. Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “See the End from the Beginning,” Ensign, May 2006, 45.

Randomness

I decided to write a post where I'd record a bunch of random things that happen in our everyday life, things we do, things we say, things that on the spot you wouldn't think are worth writing about, but in perspective you don't want to forget as they are part of the very fabric of your life. And this is what journaling is all about, right? Capturing and collecting things you want to remember.

So here it goes.... I love it when Ella gets into my jewelery box and starts going through earrings, necklaces, bracelets... she softly touches them, sometimes tries them on (whatever she can by herself), and says sweet words, like "mommy, I love your jewelry!" She does the same with my makeup bag and sometimes since I see her curious and dying to try something on, I let her put some blush or lipstick on, never forgetting to remind her that makeup is for later, for her teenage years :-)

I want to remember her dance moves (they're awesome.) This girl has some serious rhythm in her. The other day we were at the pool and out of the blue, she starts swaying her hips really nice, oh yeah baby! I about cracked up but encouraged her as music and dance makes her so happy. Speaking of pools, I love splashing with her, love it when she rides on my back or when we practice back kicks or strokes. So fun.

I want to remember how my sweet, oh so loving husband always helps with unloading and loading the dishwasher, when he asks if I need any help even after he's had a tough day himself and had just sat down on the couch to watch a show or the news... and when I say "yes, as a matter of fact, it'd be great if you could... do this or that..." and he stands up and comes over and starts helping. We love his to die for banana bread which nowadays he makes into muffins which are easy (and more fun) to serve up for Ella's snacks at school.
I love how he plans his golf outing around our family time so we first get done whatever we planned as a family. And I love his sense of humor, I married a really funny guy.

I love it when we go do free play at the bounce house and get to jump and slide together like crazy to Ella's delight!

I love us sitting together and eating a yummy meal every night (well, yummy almost every night! I'd like to think.) Last night we had mushroom risotto with shrimp and steamed brocolli. Delicious! I love how Ella never gets tired of having home made waffles every single morning for breakfast! And chocolate soy! She asks me every night before going to bed if she can have that, although she knows she'd get it but still asks (maybe just to be sure.) And how we always stick some fresh fruit next to it (family favorites being the raspberries, strawberries, watermelon, or grapes.)
And I love it when we say a prayer together to bless our meal.  Then also, love our family prayer at bedtime, and reading from the scriptures together. By the way, I found this great site (through Facebook), Scriptures 4 Kids, awesome! They have great materials for quiet time in sacrament, family home evening ideas, games, and a bunch of other things. But the neat thing they recently came up with the Book of Mormon, Scripture Challenge! Ella loves the scripture reading charts which she gets to fill out every night after reading her Book of Mormon Stories (last night we started reading online through this site.) It's great, I hope they keep those cool things coming! A big "Thank you!"

I love our zoo trips, our grocery shopping trips where Ella has learned to accept the fact that we can't get a piece of candy every time we go, especially since we already have a big old box full of tons of candy at home. (Totally random, I know but that's what this post is about.)

Love going to the park, there is a really nice one here close-by our house (apartment) with a huge maze, slides, tunnels and other artifacts, all wooden made by local volunteers and donors a few years back. And we love going there to feed the ducks, and pigeons, and other birds.

I love the southern flora and fauna. There is so much variety of trees here, all different pretty color blossoms, flowers, and birds. We even got a tortoise visit our patio a few days back. It was quite a treat! Ella and Hrishi (!!!) wanted to keep it as a pet! I firmly said NO.

That's it for now... I'm sure I'll add some more random stuff as it comes to me. Because there is so much to life, the little things that makes it fun, challenging, rewarding or simply just life...

Still the one...

Where do I start... it's been awfully quiet around here (from two or three posts a week down to none.) Yes, because we're trying to get through a big challenge we've had to face with our new home. Saturday, Memorial Day weekend, we get a call from the painter (who is in the house painting) that there is a water leak in the living room. Not too worried (speaking for myself here, as Hrishi's starting to look really concerned), we get in the car and head that way. We got there and it was not a pretty sight: our beautiful living room was a mess... multiple dripping points in the ceiling, hardwood floors underneath it soaking wet, bad, bad, bad.... We rolled up our sleves and pulled some buckets underneath the ceiling, wiped whatever we could and started calling around to get contractors in to help. Good thing they make you get home warranty here in TX, as they helped with getting the contacts to call for service. Keep in mind that we had closed on the house the Thursday before...

Since then our lives have been revolving around appointments with contractors for quotes and estimates for drying and repairs, insurance and adjustors calls, real estate agent calls, etc. It's been extremely stressful and crazy. Still waiting to get the go-ahead from insurance so we can start repairs. The sad thing about this situation is that this was a previous condition, it happened in the past at least once and the previous owner had concealed it... they did not disclose anything in the contract when they had the opportunity to. We had so many people come through the house and examine the damages to the bathroom upstairs and living room, and they all agreed this has happened in the past and it was not addressed properly, which means it never really got fixed. So it happened again, to us, two days after closing.  I was very disappointed, sad, and felt cheated on, who wouldn't?

Obviously our new move-in date is yet to be determined. We do hope to move by the end of the month by our current lease ends. And through it all, we were blessed and comforted in ways I can't describe.

We still love this house and can't wait to make it ours. It's still the one.

Our graduate!

How fun to have a pre-k graduation ceremony complete with cap and gown, your name read out loud, diploma, cupcakes, presents, dear friends and teachers nearby! How fun to soak it all in, and just be happy to be you, to have accomplished hard things, to have made great friends, to have learned so much about yourself! I'm pretty sure if Ella could put it all in words, these would come close to how she felt that night! She was just so very happy! So very proud walking around in her cap and gown through the hallways of the beautiful church the ceremony was held at. She loved being in the spotlight.

She loved taking pictures with her teachers (whom she adores) and her friends.

She had a Happy Meal which is a nice treat in her books (garnshied with sauteed green beans and peppers made by mommy) and yummy homemade cupcakes for dinner that night. And she got to wear the very pretty white shoes mamaie & tataie sent her for Easter.

There were quite a few tear jerkers that night as all the graduates and their parents and teachers stood up and said the Pledge of Allegiance, as those cute little ones walked down the isle one by one to the podium, as their pictures were flashing across the overhead projector screen, as their names were called out and applauded.

How fun! So pleased with the wonderful Primrose teachers and staff and so proud of you baby!