The Miracle of Nataly

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2014

The miracle of Nataly

She is not only a miracle in our life, but also one, and a very powerful one in the lives of her parents. From a distance we are blessed to watch how they are changing their lives for Nataly's sake, how they are becoming a family with a mother and father, responsible, hard working, loving and dependable for their children.  It is amazing to see how much Heavenly Father truly loves ALL His children and how much He wants us ALL to succeed and partake of His blessings. 

A few weeks after Nataly left, we began praying not only for her, but also for her mother and father. And the miracle has started to happen. I am so grateful to be able to witness this even if only from a distance. 

And I am so grateful to know that she is loved and taken care of. 

We still miss her but seeing her parents lives being built back together is worth the anguish and loss we sometimes feel. Praying they continue to stay strong and do well for her sake and also for the sake of her brothers and sister. 

And it's really precious to see her holding her own bottle in the stroller Ella used when she was her age some almost nine years ago. 

Temple trip and birthdays!

We got to go to the temple and do initiatories together and it was such a great experience. We can't wait to go again and do some family work for my grandfather before mom and dad return to Romania.

I love this picture Hrishi took of us and the temple!

After many many years, this year mom and I got to celebrate our birthdays together! That was such a blessing and a treat!

Homemade pizza, pastries, stuffed grape leaves, chicken and veggie kebobs, salmon cakes, and lobster were on the menu. It was all scrumptious.

Pure deliciousness grilled by master griller Hrishi!!

Didn't have enough candles, please excuse the spelling error! :) The lemon cake was delish!

Someone loves her Martinelli.

Do you see Toby gently touching mamaie's arm?! :)

Photo bombing dad!!

 I love my parents!

Morning Star Piccolo

I present to you, a new equine addition to our family-our beautiful Hanoverian/Welsh pony!! She is a 9 year old blue roan mare, standing at 14.1 hands. I found her in Alvin, TX while I looking for ponies for sale on the internet, and when after trying a few other ponies she didn't like, and feeling a little sick to her stomach, she was going to get off before trying her. We all honestly didn't think much of her before Ella got on.

For Ella was love at first ride though. The moment she got on, she felt safe and comfortable. And so the two hit it right off.

She is a very nice mover, quiet as can be, hard working and willing. Ella loves to canter and jump with her.

We got to try her for a week at the home barn and she has done well every single day and every single ride.

And part of the trial was to show her in Ella's first show ever at the Great Southwest Equestrian Center in Katy. It was a non-rated/schooling show but the first real big one, aside from the small barn shows she did a couple of years back.

Grazing Piccolo before the show.

They both did an amazing job after having only been acquainted with each other for four days. The pony has a great smooth canter and beautiful confirmation. They even got quite a few ribbons in the Pre-beginner classes.  We were all beyond excited! The two make a great pair and hopefully a promising future together.

She competed with girls 4 and 5 years older than her and with much more show experience, and almost got two first places/blue ribbons. The judge told her that she was going to give her first place if only she had all her diagonals right in the trot. Oh well, next time. Of course, she was excited to get tips from the judge and get such compliments.

Her show bill number was 911. I didn't know what to think of it... ha-ha!

Sixth place at equitation flat.

Here with her trainer, Marieke Slik.

And her amazing grandma and grandpa who were and are so very proud of her!!!

Every time she went in to ride during the show I thought I was not going to watch being so nervous for her!!

Two second places, two fifth places, and one sixth place. Not bad at all for a first show, eh?!! :)

When she heard sixth place, she asked what color ribbon was that. When we told her green, she said-I love green!! :) Cute!!

After a pre-sale vet exam yesterday and many prayers and negotiations, we can call her ours. Welcome to the family, Morning Star Piccolo, now Karekar! :)

Here she is grazing and loving her after the vet exam.

A post on gratitude

Just that, pure gratitude for the small and big blessings I am given every day.

Lately, I have been writing a lot about the empty spot Nataly's leaving left in our hearts and lives, how much we miss her and love her, and how we pray for her safety and happiness every single day. While that empty spot is still there and will probably never be filled, there are many things for which I feel my cup runs over. The love and closeness we have as a family, the health and vigor we each enjoy in our physical bodies and spirits, the joy we find in the present and the hope we have in the future.

I am especially grateful to my Lord and Savior for His Infinite and intimate love reflected in all aspects of my life. He knows my struggles and my triumphs and oh, how grateful I am for that. Through His amazing grace I will soon be able to work close to home and therefore have more family time with the ones I love. New job, new beginnings, yes!! Today and every day I celebrate His amazing attention to the details of my life, His interest in my happiness and peace.

Foster care

I came across this blog and it's been good to read some of the more experienced ones' thoughts, findings, and advice on foster care. This comes at a good time. Foster care is hard, it's costly to the heart and not only, it's exhausting, it requires going beyond and above in places you never thought you would... But that smile that you see on your sweet (foster) child's face, the feeling of safety and love that she feels while in your arms, while in your home, are all worth it. We will forever cherish Nataly's sweet smile that reflected her feeling of happiness and safety while in our care. I will never forget the smile she gave me and Hrishi that night that we put her in our bed (it was a few days before she was going to leave), when after changing and feeding her, with sleepy eyes, half closed, she turned to me to make sure I was there and gave me that smile. That smile that will forever stay imprinted in my heart and mind.

http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/

And I realize that all of my entries have been about this experience lately. It is my way, our way of coping with the change, with not having her in our family anymore, but forever in our hearts.

A little friend

A stray kitty who has found his home in our front yard and under our next door neighbors' cars, has become Ella's protege, best friend, pet, and soothing balm to her heart after Nataly's leaving. She is very affected by this change and tries to find ways to pour out her love towards others, be it us or creatures like this one. 

She 'trained' the kitty to come eat on our patio, out of a bowl, and play with her. And the cute thing is reciprocating her love and attention to Ella's outmost delight. She named him Toby. Toby is gettting a collar today and a few other treats from the pet store. Toby loves to play with our azalea bushes and gobble his tuna, salmon, and soy. :)

The Lord is My Shepherd

Psalm 23

David declares, The Lord is my shepherd.

A Psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Psalms 23:1-6

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/ps/23?lang=eng

These past couple of weeks have been my Ghetsemani. The aftermath of Nataly's leaving, the hurtful and unjust actions of the CPS, and rudeness of the adoption agency case worker assigned to our family have tried my faith and stole the peace of my heart. We are not to have any contact with her family, we are not to contact CPS to get an update on her, etc. I sometimes feel like I am living a nightmare but it's real. I pray for hope and happier times where our hurt can be healed and this sweet baby watched over and blessed. 

We will probably change the adoption agency we're working with going forward. The unfortunate experience s we had after her leaving our home have put a very bitter taste of how the state/CPS "cares" about these children, how they do their job, and how they treat those who truly love and look for the best interest of these children. 

The memory of the wonderful seven months of parenting and loving Nataly will always stay with us. The rest I hope will wash away with time and hopefully, better experiences in the future.